The end of an era?

As I've spent the last couple of weeks packing up my life here in Scotland, I've started feeling a little strange that my time here has almost come to an end. As soon as I got back from Rome, I moved out of the flat that I had lived in for the last two years. Our lease was up and since I didn't really know where I was going to be, I ended up not getting another flat here, but instead crashing in a friend's spare room which she so graciously offered to me. I've been basically living out of suitcases for the last month, trying desperately to finish the final chapter of my thesis, and get everything sorted out. About two weeks ago, I was ready to go! Most of my closest friends had moved away, the town started filling up with tourists, and I had a number of frustrating circumstances that I was dealing with. I sort of just wanted to run away and hoped that would solve the problem. But I stuck it out, and the last 2 weeks have been amazing. Unfortunately, I am now leaving in 2 days, for about 5 weeks in Canada, then back here for 10 days to really get my stuff together, then off to Germany. Don't get me wrong, I'm really looking forward to the next adventure, but at the same time, this town has (at times) been really good to me. It's comfortable, known, and easy. Germany will be amazing, but at the same time, I fear that I will feel isolated as my German is not nearly as good as it should be. I'm scared of not being able to finish my thesis on time (as 5 months will probably fly, especially since I am giving a paper in South Africa in October that will take away from thesis writing time). I guess I shouldn't get too sad yet since, as it stands at the moment, I will be back here in Scotland as of February to defend my thesis, do any corrections, and just try and find a job. But that's equally scary. With so much uncertain, it's kind of like crossing a river with the hope that the bridge you are in the process of building will hold lest you get swept away in the current. I'm told that everything will work out as it should, but that's not always the kind of comfort I need at the moment. I don't do well with uncertainty and the fact that I'm almost to the point where I will be out in the real world is kind of a scary thought, especially when I've become so good at being a student. This is the world I know. I guess academia is not much different once you transfer over to the professor side, but it will still be quite a change, one that I look forward to, but with a healthy sense of fear.

This post has been a bit of a ramble, but this is the turmoil of my life at the moment.